but if we fail to reach our goal
we hold no regret or despair
for we made the journey together
our hearts are forever paired
If doubt alone can break the deal
Or change our hearts from silk to steel
Then we must learn to trust what we feel
And deny the impulse to rely on whats real
But although the pain surmounts all perception
The course must be run to complete the infection
A taste that once was rooted in fears
Now changed to desire for the wounds warm red tears
Transformed by the press of her fangs in my flesh
Her life and mine forever one in loves eternal mesh
Scared of the darkness
Angry at the light
Confused in the daytime
Restless through the night
Saddened by the choices
Uncertain they were right
Content with the outcome
Exhausted from the fight
trapt inside i try to hide
with no way to escape
what little comfort i can find
does not the madness abate
stretched too thin the fabric shreds
what happens when it’s done
i’m left alone, my life to dread
once two now only one
with quickening pulse
and dizzying speed
it’s life drains away
it’s veins opened to bleed
the decision was bold
deliberate and intended
the creature must cease
it’s life must be ended
it had to be done
for the rest to survive
the world made anew
now able to thrive
if only it realized
the weight of it’s actions
instead it lived blindly
in it’s own selfish distractions
compared to infinity
it’s existence seems vague
the creature known as Man
that became this worlds plague
now cleansed of infection
the world will mend
the cycle renewed
a beginning from an end
with all my feelings packed down inside
my view of life becomes skewed
nothing falls into it’s correct place
every point offset by my level of compression
with time, i hope to expand again
and learn to live 1:1
I really never thought I’d get to add this one to my list of found species. Granted, black widows are not exactly uncommon in this area, but it’s just not a common occurrence in my day-to-day life. So, I was very happy (yes, happy) when my friends from work told me they had spotted one by their church. Of course, my first reaction was doubt. Not that I really didn’t believe them, I just know how easy it is to make a false ID on any wildlife since I’ve been the culprit many times myself. But when they loaded up the pictures and showed me, I knew I had to go capture it. Not that I really had any need to capture it, except for preventing it from harming anyone AND preventing anyone from harming her. As evident in the picture, the widow had two egg sacs that she was closely guarding. I planned to grab them too. I was very excited and thought about the capture all day at work, planning how I would collect both the widow and her eggs without causing damage to her or getting tagged myself. Finally then last bell rang and I was on my way. As soon as we arrived at the church, I was directed to a pile of sandbags stacked against the stone foundation. Pealing one of the bags back slowly, I could see her with both eggs sacs pulled close. She was hanging upside down with her abdomen facing me, displaying that infamous blood red hourglass. Once the sandbag was out of the way, I started to close my container around her and the eggs. She didn’t really try and make any moves at first, but then broke away from her web and started up the wall. I covered her with the lid and slid it just enough to bump her with the side. She instantly balled up and fell into the container. Then it was just a matter of collecting the egg sacs while keeping an eye on her to make sure she didn’t crawl up for a quick bite. So, what do you do with a highly venomous spider and two egg sacs?? You take them to someone that shares the same excitement, but has the knowledge and resources to properly interact with such a creature. For me, that was Dr. John Foster over at the Wesselman Woods Nature Preserve. I sped over to the front nature center office, hoping to make it there before everyone went home. As luck would have it, I caught them as they were leaving and quickly explained the situation. They directed me to Dr. Foster, and he in turn greeted me with the kind of enthusiasm that only a trained entomologist could have for an animal like this. My only regret, is that I didn’t take time to get some good pictures of her or to find out what Dr. Foster had planned for the widow and her brood. But, I sent him an email which I hope will lead to more pictures and info. I’ll be sure to post any updates I find out, but in the mean time, here is the great photo that Annabell was kind enough to take for me.
Black Widow with eggs
I should have known this was going to happen. I’ve been so happy and positive the past few days and I really thought I was going to stay that way. Well, no dice. Took a little nap this evening and woke up around 9pm. I awoke into one of the most depressed, anguish and hate filled moods I’ve ever felt. I literally thought I might have snapped. Pacing the house sobbing one minute and then beating my fists against anything close, the next. I guess I was bottling some things up and they finally just had to get out. Truth be told, I can’t stand this house at night. My bed should not be empty and the rooms should sound of more then TV shows and aquarium pumps. There almost could be a formula for how emotions express themselves. Two parts happy to one part sad makes a disinterested mood. But mix anguish, loneliness and regret together, you get a pretty explosive rage filled time bomb. I guess I’m going to have to learn to vent the negative as well as project the positive. After all, I talk about balance all the time. You can’t have balance without some darkness.
I was craving the woods this morning so I decided to go walk the trails at Scott Township Park. Nothing crazy now, I’m no off-road explorer. But I was hoping to maybe see a deer or groundhog or whatever so I didn’t want to just walk the gravel road. I opted for the Oak Trail and I have to say, I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a good walk through some beautiful forest. The trail dips at first but then steadily climbs before leveling off for awhile. Then once you make it around the main bend, it drops back down and you’re reward with an absolutely gorgeous view of the lake. Make sure you walk out to the end of the floating dock. It feels awesome as the water drifts back and forth. Overall, the “hike” took about 30 minutes and was just under half a mile long. Next time I’ll take the Upland Trail. It’s more difficult terrain but hopefully it will yield more to see. Here is an overview of the trail as well as the track view I recorded on my phone and a pic of the lake (although even an HDR photo doesn’t come close to seeing it for real).
